Pre Fast preparation is fail, but mission must go on as planned !

As you can probably conclude from the title the liquids only and one chocolate bar was not succesful. I ended up eating normal small meals but I will not fail the fast.  No matter how many mistakes you make keep going forward and soon enough you'll reach the end (how cheesy is that? but nonetheless it's true :] ).                           I am a spontaneous sort of person so even if I write a schedule of things to do and when to do them I most often don't go by the book, but if I didn't write down everything I needed and/or wanted to do I would probably never get anything done.   So my detailed liquid plan for tomorrow's fast that I am going to try to follow as closely as possible:

8:00 am _ one cup of warm whole milk (160 cal)
Between 9:00 am and 2:00 pm _ 1 bottle of water (0 cal)
3:00 pm _ one juicebox (90 cal)
6:00 pm _ one cup of warm milk (160 cal)

Total: 310 calories

Exercise Plan:

20 crunches x 3 in the morning
160 jumping jacks in the morning
20 crunches x 4 in the evening
15 minute fast walk in the evening

Anyone else doing fasts, remember that it is important to take your vitamins and keep hydrated throughout the day and that you should break your fast the proper way so that it doesn't mess up your body.


Lots of Luv,


      Air ♥

Fasting, religion and body image

I've made up my mind to start a fast this week, my plan for tomorrow is no more than 500 calories in liquids and one chocolate bar (250 calories) this will give me the energy I need throughout the day.  The day after, on Tuesday, I am doing an all liquid fast with no more than 500 calories in liquids than on Wednesday and Tursday it will be a water only fast.  Friday I will consume no more than 600 calories in liquids and than Saturday will be the same.  Sunday will be the last day of the fast and that too will be a water only fast.  The fast will last from Tuesday till Sunday [6 days in total] that's the longest fast I have ever done, but I am determined to win.   I don't believe fasts are bad, I have heard of people going on fasts for religious purposes and although mine is a different purpose I still do not think it is a bad choice.  It helps cleanse your body, and mind in a way.
Although I have done fasts before, I never tell anyone about them and it's sometimes funny how easy it is to get away with it and no one realizes it.  It is almost like they're blind, like they chose not to see what's happening.



Luv u Lots,


                Air ♥

Anger, shopping and addiction

We all get mad, upset and downright angry sometimes and there's nothing wrong with that.  We just need to know how to deal with these feelings, some people eat when they get upset, others don't, some scream, some stay silent, some use physical violence, while others cry, some paint, or cook it all varies depending on the type of the person you are.  For me well I tend to spend my money (not that I don't already), I will go and shop because it helps calm me down, but I also go to the gym (if it's open) and exercise all my anger out.   Looking at how I vent my anger, and sadness I think I deal with it pretty ok, I mean some people deal with feelings in pretty drastic and/or dangerous ways.  If you are a person who deals with these feelings in a not so good way, you can always try and find a new outlet, for exemple exercising is quite a good outlet because it raises your endorphin levels which makes you feel better overall. You could try writing, drawing, running, or even taking a long hot bath, or even punching a punching bag and letting it all out. 


Lots of Luv , 


       Air ♥

long gap, so much to tell, so much to do...

So first things first, my weight loss success and loss. I managed to get down to 118 lbs but than I gained back to 122lbs :[ but I will be starting a "be thin for Christmas" competition with myself and my goal is to weigh 108 lbs by Christmas  :D .
Secondly I dropped my first period class(music) and so now I get to sleep in and get some rest I so dearly need. You see from all my binging and purging, and fasts my health has taken quite a toll, but you see what I'm doing is sacrifice [ giving up something good for something better] and yes I know in logic health is better but for me better is thin. You see you know you're wrong but you so desperately want it to be right because you know you're going to do it anyway,  I know going to extremes is bad but I'm still going to do it. 

My first post in over a month sounds a bit on the grim/not so good side, but tomorrow I will post a lighter topping :]




oh and I have a follower now ^_^ ♥

Luv you Lots ,

            Air ♥

Not setting your hopes high yet still being let down, way down .....

So I'll start of by saying I really dislike dissapointments in life, but I'm sure a lot of people are.  Today I started m 4th year in orchestra, and I felt like I got slapped in the face when I found out where my assigned seat was placed.  I might not be the best violin player, but last year (I was second violin) I worked my butt off, I attended every rehearsal, sectional and at times when we had to perform (I sat in second row) and one of the chairs for second violin couldnt make it the teacher moved me to front row.  So me working hard and because my teacher sometimes placed me in first row I was guessing that maybe I'd be section leader and if not that than I'd get to sit beside the section leader.  Well surprise, surprise I'm still a second row, 2nd violin in orchestra, not only that but my stand partner, got moved to first violin and I'm left by myself as a gr 12 second violin whose not even sitting in the front.  I must admit I felt like I was slapped in the face, really dissapointed espescially since it felt like I was getting hints from the teacher that I was going to sit in the front (other people thought so too).  Well what can I say, except that it's life, it happens and it's probably only categorized as a small dissapointment.

Lots of Luv,


                Air ♥

The plan thats been planned for 3 years has totally changed in 3 days

Sometimes you know what you want to do with your life, you know what you want to do after highschool, and you spend 3 years planning and perfecting your plan.  Yes, that was me, but for some odd reason it took me 3 days to totally change my plans for post secondary.
So my original plan was to get into Ryerson University for fashion design, and I still want to do that just not next year.  I've decided to take a fashions course in France and stay there for approx 6-8 months and than apply to Ryerson for the year after I come back from France.  Firstly I always wanted to go study abroad and this might be my last chance since after I graduate Ryerson I plan on doing internships and starting to settle in, so the year before would be a great idea. Secondly it would be a great experience and help me improve my language and thirdly it gives me great experience, therefore my chances of getting into Ryerson are even higher :]  ♥



Luv you Lots,


                  Air ♥

Reality catches up with me, a sugar Addict

So let me start off by reminding you about an earlier post when I wrote about the weird patch on my tongue.  Well turns out I have an infection and its moved into my throat and one of the causes is eating too much sugar.  I never had a problem before when it came to eating sugar, but now even though I'm on prescribed medications I still need to cut back on sugars.  I always knew I ate a lot of sugars but I thought I ate just a bit more or sometimes a normal amount of sugar. I guess now that I reflect on my deit,  a lot of stuff that I ate had a lot of sugars in them (ie juiceboxes [I really do drink a lot of those...], sweetened applesauces, chocolate milk, hot chocolate, jam, honey, marmalade, strawberries, chocolate etc).  So now the big, fat, reality check; I need to eat low sugar foods.
Wish me luck.


Luv you Lots,
     
           Air ♥

Wishing that the wind would fly me away....

My school day was very, ordinarily boring, and I was sort of dreading going to work right after school because I was tired and feeling very lazy.  To my surprise, it turned out to be an interesting evening and although my feet hurt from work I am glad I went.  There were three or so gangsta (I know I should not label people but that is the only word I think describe them best) looking dudes, and they were acting suspiscious so my manager asked me to keep an eye on them, so like follow them but pretend to be working on something. This went on for a good hour and so, and for some odd reason I found it really amusing and I was trying hard not to crack a smile.  They knew I was following them,  and started talking to me, asking me what colour the jeans looked and if the jacket they were trying on matched them.  In the end they ended up buying a cart full of stuff and payed from a big, fat, roll of bills ....... the whole ordeal actually made me feel better, I felt important, and kind of like a little kid pretending to be a spy/cop/security guard.

Luv you Lots,
                    Air ♥

First day, nothing special and a bald tongue

So today was the first day of school for this school year and other than being pleasently surprised by my classes nothing felt out of the ordinary.  I guess after going for so many years and seeing the same teachers and students, it just makes everything seem like you never actually had a 2 month vacation.
Also I was looking at my tongue the other day after I brushed my teeth and I noticed a shiny, pink, "bald" patch on my tongue and being the type of person that I am, I overrreact, espescially in my mind. I know its probably harmless but I am going to make a doctors appointment so that I can at least know how to get rid of it.
Truthfully , my first thought was that it was from throwing up too much and that the acid was eating away at my tongue.....

        Lots of Luv,
                       Air ♥                                                                            

Hibernation

                                                              

Sometimes I wish I could hibernate when it is really cold, not for months but for a few days or a week.  I'd feel totally refreshed afterward and when you hibernate you lose weight because your body eats your fat.  So in conclusion you'd be thinner and your body would have gotten all the rest it needs.  But hibernation would only work if you don't need to go to school and/or work.

Luv You Lots ,


                Air

A baby, subway, and alcohol

So today after work I went to the hospital to see my friend and her new baby boy. He is such a cutie and she said she was surprised when I held him because he usually cries when someone else other than her holds him.  The only thing I regret is not being able to be with her when she was giving birth, but the thing is I thought she'd only have him today (her labour was fast), but my other friend was there for her :] .  I know I will get to be there in a delivery room with a friend sometime in my life, so I'm not too saddened.  Anyways I've decided to spoil him and that if she ever needs a babysitter, I'll be there and obviously for free.  I  will gladly call in sick to take care of her beautiful baby ♥ Than I went to subway to get a sub for supper, which I later threw up because I felt disgusted and I should be on my 2nd day of an all liquid fast.  Also I will say this I hate when people drink too much, espescially when its one of your parents.  Drinking, being fucked up, eating like a fucking gluttonous beast and being disgusting.  I know it sounds harsh but it's true and I hope he stops drinking soo much, I really do, and I bet a lot of people can relate to having one and/or both parents who drink too much.

Anyways restarting my all liquid fast tomorrow, got to lose those pounds.


Lots of Luv,
                      Air   ♥

New hair, new you

So three weeks ago I made myself an appointment at a hair salon to get my hair coloured, and today was the big day.  Now I have not been to a hair salon in a good 2 years (mostly cause I started cutting my own hair) and I have never, ever had my hair coloured by a proffesional.  So I spent a total of 4 hours and 32 minutes at the salon, 30 of those minutes I spent waiting, but I didn't since the salon was busy with a bridal party, so I understood.  Anyways, I brought a picture with me of what I'd like the hair to look like and even though it didnt turn out like the picture I absolutely LOVE my new hair.  The stylist was really nice, spent her time doing my hair, and the hair turned out great so I gave her a  25 % tip.  The day before (yesterday) I spent a good 15 minutes looking up how much one should tip a hairstylist, since I really could not stand the idea of me being considered a bad tipper. I found out that on a normal cut, if you go to a normal salon, you tip from 10 -15 %, but if you get coloured, permed, etc you should aim from 10-25%. BUT you should always take into account, how the hair turned out, the atmosphere, the stylists "personality" and how much time they spend.  If your hair comes out amazing and they spent a fair bit of time, you should probably tip 20-25%.  I'm not saying you have to tip your hairdresser, but its common ettiquette to do so, and if you are tight on money, they understand, so no worries.  The only downside to my amazing hair experience was getting my hair rinsed and washed at those sinks.  They are sooo uncomfortable and I think I ended up bruising the base of my head, but all in all great day today; I did all my last minute back to school shopping and some belt and shoe shopping too (since the cost of my hair was lower than I thought I still had money to spend).  So only 2 more days until school begins, which means only 7 more days until next saturday, which is my weigh in day and my goal is 118 lbs :] .
Anyways im excited for school :D  hehe I know I sound like a nerd :]


Luv you lots,

              Air