Confession

Sometimes I think of death, but not necessarily suicide.  Sometimes I wonder/imagine what would happen if a car hit me, or I think about what might happen if I take a bunch of pain killers and drink a lot of alcohol with energy drinks, or if I take a lot of pills.  Sometimes I think that's why I sometimes do stupid things (more often than not when I'm drunk) like running around aimlessly and through the street without looking, or wandering downtown TO drunk (although I'm smart enough not to go home with anyone who offers, which has happened), or splashing through a shallow pond in a tank and shorts when it's like 3 degrees celsius outside or going running through the surrounding neighbourhoods at 2 am or taking 1800 mg of ibuprofen with 2 redbulls in 3 hours.  Not that I want to die but sometimes I imagine getting hurt, you know not a lot, but enough to let you have a bit of rest from your life, which totally does not make sense I know.  I just felt like getting this off my chest. kk :] ♥