Sugar free, meat free, pasta, bread and junk food free

So I have decided to go sugar free cold turkey, my mother and brother keep telling me I should really cut out the sugar because my intake is really unhealthy. Anyways I am one of those people who like to go big or go home so I'm cutting out all meats, fast food, junkfood, sweets, breads and pastas. I find that these foods can be quite trigerring when I'm trying to stay off the sugars and by being more strict I'm more likely to stick to it. Btw sorry about the posts lately my computer crashed so I'm posting from my iPod.

Friends, shopping and calories

So tomorrow I'm going to Burlington for an appoitment she has and than we are going shopping at forever 21 which I have never shopped at before ( we dont have one in my city) and my friend said we had to go because the first time she walked into that store she thought they had raided my closest lol and that I'd simply love that store. Well I told myself I would not spend more than 20 - 25 dollars since I really shouldn't be spending money ( I have two plane tickets to pay off, university to save up for and spending money for Europe to set aside, not to mention I have bought myself soo many clothes that I have some that still have tags on them because I just hadn't the time to wear them yet). Anyways I want to either buy myself some skirts or a dress I might wear to my schools semi formal but if I find the dress I want I will probably buy it a size smaller than what would fit be perfectly because I have around 3 weeks until the dance and I will ( yes will, not want but will) be 108-110 lb. Also since I can't fast and we are stopping by Starbucks I'm going to buy myself a grande skinny vanilla latte :] it's 130 calories I believe. And probably a small yogourt or veggie arrangement at a food court.

30 below zero Celsius all I can say is I'm ready for summer

So this winter has been the worst by far it is always extremely cold and I absolutely dislike it. Anyways I'm feeling better and after I told some people about feeling lonely they were really supportive and said that I'm not a loner and I realized I actually do have some real friends.
On another note I am not weighing myself yet I said I would at the end of Jan but I can't do it. My plan is 500 cal today

Water fast on tuesday if I don't go to Burlington.

Wednesday will be a liquid( juice) fast with a 400 calorie limit

Thursday will be a water fast

Friday will be a liquid fast 200 cal limit

Saturday will be 300 cal

Sunday will be a water fast and I'll write up the plan for next week on Sunday

Realization

So yesterday I came to admit something to myself, that I'm lonely and I don't really have any friends. Sure at school I'm the social butterfly but I never get invited anywhere and afterschool I'm basically a loner. And yesterday I just really let it hit me and I cried. And I just don't want this anymore I need friends, real friends.

Scaredy cat :P

That's what I am, just a plain ol' Scaredy cat afraid of the scale. These last two weeks were pretty bad espescially this week ( tmi I have my period) and I'm hungry like all the time when I'm on my period. Point is I gained weight and a lot ( my pants fit again) and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that will make me get on the scale because I know I'll just get more discouraged. I'm hoping it's just bloating and if I fast it will go away before next weekend.


Luv you lots,

Air

Knitting and sewing it all away.

I had first started knitting at the end of November and I must say I'm proud of my progress and I came up with something fun :] I will keep knitting one of my scarves until I reach my next goal weight and each new project will be for a new goal weight so even though it might take me longer to reach this goal I will get a beautifully long scarf out of it and not get too discouraged by slow progress. If you are wondering why sewing is in the title that's because I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE sewing, and I have just recently started doing my own designs ( instead of buying patterns :] ).
What do you lovelies like to do in your spare time?

Lots of Luv,

Air<3

Something amazing

So although a lot of things are stressing me out alot of good things have been happening that make my day really great. Like today I was at the galleria ( city plaza) and the opened a new fast food. It didn't have a name but they had pamphlets with nutrition values inside and everything had a heart and stroke health check and there was fresh bread and veggies and it looked so healthy I was happy that it opened :D regardless to say I didnt buy anything but I'm sure their food tastes wonderful.

Today I ate a plain French toast and drank a juice box, now I'm taking a " nap " so I can avoid dinner :] originally I was supposed to fast today but I didn't wake up before 11 ( that's when my mom gets home) so I had to eat something but I'm not disapointed.

Third post today, guess I just have a lot to share ♥

So I heard the song F**king Perfect by Pink  and liked it but than I saw the video, and it was so so moving, it made me cry.   I give a standing ovation to Pink for always being able to communicate strong issues through her music, I respect her a lot and even more so after this music video.  It left me speechless, I loved it and for those who haven't seen the video I strongly recommend you watch it.  

Luv you Lots,




                   Air ♥

Make up :]

So make up and doing fun stuff like shopping, hair and sewing really unstress (destress?) me and  like I stated two posts previously I need new foundation and I think instead of buying clothes with the extra money thats left over after I pay for World Youth Day I might go and buy myself some proper brushes, foundation, liquid eyeliner, eyeliner and blush :] OR I'm going to buy foundation and liquid eyeliner and get my tragus peirced ;]

Lots of Luv,

                   Air♥

 

It should be raining...

I feel like crying, I'm so stressed, my mothers bitching at me, my fast failed again, my teachers a bitch who can't mark equally, exams are comming up and I just want to sleep.   I really want to just scream and punch a wall or something.  

You could say the new year hasn't really been as great as I anticipated, maybe next semester will be better. All I can tell myself is to breathe (but all I want to do is cry,  all day tears have been welling up in my eyes but I managed to keep from crying). 

Luv you Lots, 






                          Air ♥

People, stories and just listening ...

So today aftermy workout I headed to the whirlpool that's in the changeroom and there's this lady there and we just started talking. And before you know it she spills her life story about her back problems and how it hurt her physically and mentally and you know what ? I felt good, it isn't the first time I started talking to a person I don't or rarely know and they just tell me their hardships and I'm happy that they could vent it. I love that feeling that u get when u know u helped someone in some small way :]I find it easier to talk to the elder folks for some reason and they have quite interesting things to share, so sometimes it's really nice to listen. it's almost like your collecting all these stories, it's like u get to know everyone a bit, it's like a book that gets filled. And maybe I love it so much because my life isn't that interesting or full and by collecting other peoples stories I can fill the emptiness. In my life I hope to fill my book ( not an actual book, methaphoracly) with not only others stories but alot of my own. I want a full and fulfilling life that I can look back on with pride.

As a side note I need new foundation ( my old one is from summer when I was super tan and now I'm as pale as ... well pale. I might go to the mall afterschool tomorrow to buy it (I'll have an excuse not to be home and I can do a day of fasting yay :]

Dear binge, oh how I despise you

Dear binge,

How I despise you and whenever you visit I just want to kick you out. So please don't ever visit me again.

Sincerely,

A very pissed off hostess .




As you can probably conclude from the title and the "letter" above I have had a binge, and I have been having them almost every night since the weekend.   I fast in the day, than my mom makes me eat and than I just continue eating, ok maybe they aren't HUMONGOUS binges, but a binges is still a binge.   I really want to fast tomorrow but I don't want my mom to be suspiscious and I'm home all day after school.   I might just take the bus downtown to the librabry and spend my day there doing my ISP, because I really can't afford another binge :[ It's time I get back on track.

Luv you Lots,








                Air♥